It is inevitable. We all will, must age. If we are lucky, we will live a long, happy life. My parents have been married 67 years this year. Wow, right? To be honest, it hasn’t always been sunshine and roses. But what relationship is? The point here is, they have lived a long, long life.

My father, Filiberto (“Fil”) will be 94 this year. My mother, Petra, will be 92 later this year. They were both very independent until just the last couple of years. My father fell at home several times, requiring hospital stays and time in a Rehabilitation Center to recover. But regrettably, he has not returned home in about two years. Mother has also had some medical issues, she’s also been in a Rehabilitation Center in the last year. She recovered, was able to return home and until about two months ago, was still driving!

In the last year, my father has been in the hospital, in a Rehabilitation Center, in an Assisted Living Facility and now in a Nursing Home. In the Assisted Living Facility he had his own room, a mini refrigerator, a rocking chair and bedroom furniture. He had his own bathroom as well. The Facility was in Long Beach, California not too far from home. He was using a wheelchair to get around. He went down to the dining room 2-3 times a day for meals. We got him a TV with cable service and a telephone. He was comfortable and they took good care of him. Unfortunately, he came down with an infection in his leg, and was taken to a local hospital where he remained for 2 weeks. This all just happened recently. He recovered and was sent to a Rehabilitation Center to recover, get some physical therapy to focus on getting up and out of bed. To be mobile.

Well, Filiberto is tired. Remember, he’s almost 94. He refused physical therapy, because it hurt. Yes, therapy can hurt, as we work the muscles and joints in our body. But he’s always been a stubborn man and he has accepted that he will no longer be mobile. It’s very sad for us really. We encourage him regularly to try physical therapy, but he just won’t do it. He’s always had a very low pain tolerance. Getting out of bed is a weekly trial, where the nurses lift him out of bed, put him in a wheelchair and take him to the dining room. Just so he has a weekly “outing” outside of his room. He doesn’t like it much. But at this time, we are insisting he do at least that.

Filiberto suffers from Dementia. It’s just a low grade. So he has many moments of lucidity. He remembers all of us. He has memories dating back to Veracruz when he was young, and other memories from recent years. When I visit, we watch TV together and I look for series from years ago, and it’s funny how he remembers the characters (Storage Wars, Dog Whisperer, even Say Yes to the Dress!).

Because he wouldn’t participate in physical therapy, he was moved to the Nursing Home section of his current facility. He has a roommate. It’s the size of a hospital room; two beds separated by a curtain. The nurses and nurse assistants see to his every need daily. They take good care of him; he doesn’t complain… much. But he’s comfortable. He takes all of his meals in his bed. His is on the window side of the room which looks out to the patio. Each patient has their own TV and remote.

My mother has been in a better state of health than my father. But just recently, she didn’t feel well one night, and she was taken to the Hospital. She was there two weeks and was very weak and frail. She was diagnosed with pneumonia, had fluid in her lungs and her heart was found to be weak. She recovered from that fortunately and went into a Rehabilitation Center. She’s been there a week now and has gotten much better. She is doing her daily physical therapy, asked for her “regular clothes” and knitting needles and yarn. She is doing well. We are hopeful that she will go home very soon.

So back to aging. It isn’t easy. For any of us. It’s really a blessing to see my parents at this age doing, well, pretty well. Living in Mexico, as I have mentioned previously in other Blogs, I made the commitment to visit Los Angeles every 3-4 months. Recently I was there in January, July, September and December 2023 and February and May 2024. I visit with my parents daily during my usual 7-10 day visits. Mother is usually at home, though this visit she was in the Rehabilitation Center. I also visit my father daily at the Nursing Home. I think he enjoys my visits. I always bring him snacks (muffins, cookies, crackers, Pepsi) which brings a smile to his face.

This Blog was written in honor of my parents. There are still many stories to tell of their younger lives, but fresh off my trip to Los Angeles this week, I wanted to share these thoughts. How do you age gracefully? With love, care, family and finding joy in the little things (like knitting needles perhaps and a cookie or two).