I wrote about aging in a previous post. My parents are 92 (mom) and 94 (dad). I just looked it up and it was almost exactly one year ago that I wrote the Blog titled “Aging.” (May 22, 2024) Imagine that!! I had just returned from a visit to Los Angeles, and both my parents were in a “home.” My dad was (and still is) in long-term care in a Nursing Facility. My mother was in a Rehabilitation Center, which she was later discharged from.

My dad has low-grade Dementia. He refuses to acknowledge it, regrettably. But he is comfortable where he is in Torrance, California (not far from my parent’s house). He needs care 24/7. He has been in a room with 3 other roommates, some of which come and go. He’s been there a year now. His days are spent in bed. As happened last year, he refuses to get out of bed. He was offered physical therapy, but he refused it. So he eats, sleeps and watches a lot of TV.

Here are some fotos taken this week on my visits. Everytime we visit, we take him “treats”, either a food item (like a sandwich or burger) or something sweet (muffins, cookies, pie) and a coffee (6 creamers, 4 sugars). It doesn’t matter if he’s just eaten breakfast, lunch or dinner. He always has room for something delicious to eat. Food brings him joy!

My dad is doing well, actually. Other than the confusion, sometimes anger and made up stories from the dementia, he doesn’t suffer from any ailments. He talks about going down the hall to use the restroom and that he speaks to his brothers frequently. We know he doesn’t ever get out of bed, and his brothers passed away years and years ago. As with any older person with dementia, you don’t want to agitate them or correct them. So we go along with his stories or simply change the subject. I show him pictures of family members, and he doesn’t remember all of them. I was able to use “video-chat” with two of my cousins in Mexico, another in Boston and he remembered them. That was nice.

Now, with my mother it’s completely different. She has no problems with her mind, though her memory is going quickly (short-term memory mostly). She is confused easily about her medical care, and we constantly remind her. She forgets things from one day to the next. She is very frail and weak. She has lost a ton of weight. She is the complete opposite of my dad, she doesn’t eat well.

In the last year (from May ’24 – May ’25), she has been in the hospital 5 times!! She was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure and each hospital visit has resulted in draining of a lung that fills with fluid. The heart, it seems, is not doing it’s job efficiently, and her lung fills with fluid. The drainage is done through a needle aspiration in hospital. This last hospital visit in April (the previous one was in February) resulted in having a drainage tube inserted into her side where now a nurse can actually drain it regularly. She went from every 3-4 months having anywhere from 700 mll to 1 liter of fluid drained, to now having it drained three times a week (400 – 600 mll each time). It’s hard for us to see her suffering so.

After this last two week hospital stay, she was moved to a Rehabilitation Center in Santa Monica. It was the closest one to the hospital where she was, at that time. She is in a room with one other patient. She started physical therapy last week. They come daily and have her walk (using a walker), dress herself (she spends most days in a hospital gown), use the bathroom and other daily tasks. She says they are “mean” and bullies. They do push her, but physical therapy is so important. She understands that.

I was in Los Angeles 10 days and visited her and my dad daily. The distance between their two Care Centers is about 19 miles. It would take me 45-90 minutes to go one way, every day. The freeways were always busy, but so were the surface streets. Sometimes it was faster to take the streets instead of the freeway. It’s a nicer drive for sure. My dad is in the city of Torrance and mother is in Santa Monica. The most direct route is the freeway; actually you have to take two freeways. But a nicer route, and in the evenings it seems to be faster, you can drive through the residential streets of Santa Monica and along the way, the beach is a block or two away.

Now back to mother. She really isn’t well. She has adjusted to life in the Rehabilitation Center. She has quite a “fan club” my mother does. So she gets regular visitors. She does tire easily and sleeps a lot. But she enjoys short visits with neighbors and friends. It was great to spend time with my parents. Before I left Los Angeles, I purchased return tickets. I will be traveling again next month. Stay tuned for another Blog post then.

Lola traveled with me this trip. It’s been quite a number of months since she traveled with me. I had to take her in to the Veterinarian prior to traveling for a Health Certificate. All her shots were current (ie: rabies), so she was good to go. She actually did quite well. She tends to complain (vocally) when she is first in the carrier. Poor thing, she’s in there for hours at a time. On the airplane, once we are seated and I place her under the seat in front of me, she does complain a bit. But did settle down. My little princess did very well. We stayed in a hotel as there is no room in my mother’s house for us. She was alone most of the day, but I made sure to spend time with her in the mornings and evenings. I think that is better than leaving her alone at home for 10 days. She is quite the frequent traveler!!